It might feel a little something like this: You haven’t been happier in any other relationship. You spend the majority of your time with them, thinking about them, or talking about them—it’s literally ridiculous how much you love them. The initial first couple of months you two have been together were damn near perfect, then one day they say it… “Baby, I need space.”
When you’re in love (and even strong like), this stings—there’s no need to deny that. Instantly, we start contemplating what we did wrong that would cause them to need space apart.
It leads to questions like, “Are you thinking about whether or not you want to be together?” That’s when the overthinking and possible overreacting begin. Don’t get me wrong, I understand your concerns, but I’ve learned from the few times I’ve been through this that lashing out is the last thing we should do. Here’s how to survive when they say “I need space.”
Acknowledge and respect their request.
Refrain from arguing with them or becoming upset when they tell you they need space. For one, there are a lot of people who don’t even have the balls to say this. Instead, they ignore you or ghost you and expect you to ‘take a hint’ or ‘get the picture.’ So, attempt to respect that they were big enough to trust you with their true feelings. Also, acknowledge that you understand and care about how they are feeling right now, and more importantly,y that you support their decision—even if your feelings are a little hurt.
Remember that you’re probably not the problem.
Most times, it’s not you—it’s them. Well, it’s not them either. It’s life. We’ve all had times in our life where sh*t is just difficult. Not everyone processes emotions the same. While some call their friends or their parents and cry while making emotion-based decisions, others often take time to think things through. Hence, their need for space. So, try to understand that they aren’t asking for space from you because they don’t like you anymore (most times). They are asking for space to get their sh*t together. Let them get their sh*t together. It will pay off, I promise.
Remain confident in all areas.
This can be hard to do when your feelings are hurt and your perfect relationship suddenly isn’t so perfect anymore, but you MUST remain confident. Don’t let your mind defeat you by making you assume the worst. Stay confident in yourself, stay confident in the strength of your relationship, and stay confident in your partner. You can trust them. The fact that you’re even reading this right now proves that you want to give them the space they need, but you want to make sure you won’t lose your baby either. I get it. Just stay confident that you two will make it through this small test.
Take advantage of the time apart.
Don’t sulk. Don’t overthink. Don’t tell all your friends so that they convince you of anything negative. Take advantage of the space you two are giving each other. Do a few things that make you feel good. For example, give yourself a makeover so that when you two see each other next, you can’t resist each other. Learn a new sex trick to spice things up when the time comes. Whatever you do, take advantage of the space you’re giving one another. Doing this will help you stay positive about the situation, and it’s liable to make the time go by a hell of a lot faster. Trust me.
Give them their space.
At the end of the day, you’ve gotta give your partner the space their asking for. If you have a good partner and a healthy relationship, don’t worry about them doing anything they shouldn’t be doing. Remember, all of this is more thank likely a way for them to get their sh*t together—for the both of you. Your relationship will benefit from this in the long run.
As we all know, there is no recipe for the perfect relationship, and figuring out the ingredients to a healthy relationship isn’t any easier. This might work for you, and it might not. Just remember, if they decide they don’t want to continue in the relationship, don’t freak out. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.
You’ll be alright, love.
Love always, Isis.
