Dear men,
I’m not sure if no one has ever told you, but if you tell a woman you’re going to do something, she expects you to do it. If you tell her she’s the only woman in your life, she believes she is the only woman with your heart. If you tell her you love her, she has faith that you won’t hurt her. Moral of the story is… MEAN WHAT YOU SAY AND SAY WHAT YOU MEAN. You have got to grow up. If you’re not going to do that, don’t be shocked when she reacts to finding out you’ve been feeding her bullsh*t all along.
What’s worse is that she’s going to believe you so much that even when her friends try and show her what a liar you are, she’s still going to defend you until she has proof that you’re a scumbag. Depending on how into you she is, she’ll probably still allow you to explain yourself and prove you’re worth keeping around. In my opinion, that’s a sign of a weak woman that will probably be led to a broken heart—but you knew that already when you thought to run game on her in the first place. Grow up.
Women are going to hold whatever role you give them with pride. That means she’s going to want to shout it to the world (even if you trick her into that whole “keep this between us” con).
It’s even more disheartening because that not only includes the woman who holds the good titles, that you ultimately leave looking like a fool. That includes miss sidechick, f*ck buddy, FWB, and those women who are involved in situationships that you’ve bamboozled into thinking that they’re the only woman you’re sleeping with as well. Grow up.
I encourage women not to defend you men when they find out about the other woman, and ESPECIALLY not to get mad at the women they find out about, because (let’s hope), she was only comfortable with and felt entitled to whatever role you gave her because you made her feel that way. Moreover, keep in mind that if you’ve got a good woman and you’re still feeling the need to mess with trash on the side… You need to grow up.
The minute one of your extra women feels threatened, they’re likely to attempt to sabotage things between you and your woman to get back at you. If she’s successful, she will demand that she be your woman now and that you treat her better than you did the woman before. Finally, when she realizes that she was just fun for you and won’t ever amount to the woman you lost, you’ll lose both of them when all you had to do was be faithful from the start.
You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone, and more importantly, another man’s trash is another man’s treasure. It may feel like nothing at first, but the real pain doesn’t occur until you see her happier with someone else—someone that genuinely appreciates her. Don’t be stupid. Grow up.
I’m normally on your side when it comes to how confusing women can be, but this is one of the very reasons we can be so confusing at times. As I’ve told you before, communication is key. Tell her the truth. If you know it’s not what she’s going to want to hear, hopefully, she’s smart enough to rid herself of you or at least of the confusing situation between you two.
It’s time to grow up, gents. If you can’t speak the truth, don’t speak. And honestly, with the breed of women out there these days, you’re bound to find the woman who is willing to be whatever it is you’re asking for, but don’t take advantage of the women who do value themselves and want something out of a relationship other than casual sex and lies.
Man up. Speak up. Grow up. And if you know you’ve been doing wrong–f*cking stop. I’m still rooting for you.
Love always, Isis.
