You can always tell when sh*t has turned sour in your relationship. Most times, it’s due to not knowing your love languages and possibly not paying close enough attention to your partner to identify theirs. The five love languages are gift giving, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. If that’s your first time hearing that, do a little research. You’ll thank yourself. Love languages are real and affect the way we give and receive love. There is always this sort of gut feeling when things start taking a turn for the worse in your relationship, and we usually blame it on someone’s actions or the lack thereof, instead of evaluating how well we have indulged in the love languages of one another. Unfortunately, not everything works out for everyone, and sometimes we end up settling for a relationship that doesn’t feed our soul. Here’s how each love language knows they’re with the wrong person. Let’s get into it!
Receiving Gifts:
It’s pretty simple to identify whether or not you’re with the wrong person if your love language is receiving gifts. The wrong person for you is prone to forgetting to get gifts for significant dates like birthdays and anniversaries. They are not the type to shell out a lot (or a little) money on ‘just because it’s Tuesday’ flowers, and those types of gestures are important to you, which is okay. It doesn’t mean that they don’t genuinely care about you, but giving special gifts just isn’t their forte, which means you may want to consider finding a new partner.
Quality Time:
You want your partner’s undivided attention when your love language is quality time. This looks different for everyone, but ultimately, you want genuine, focused, quality time. When you feel like you’re begging the person you’re in a relationship with to spend quality time with you, you’re definitely with the wrong person. If taking a walk together, having a picnic, or a romantic dinner for two seems tedious or uninteresting for your partner, it’s pretty safe to say you should get back out there and find a new fish.
Words Of Affirmation:
It’s important for the person you’re in a relationship with to verbally encourage you, tell you they love you, and express their emotions when your love language is words of affirmation. Of all the love languages, this one is probably the most difficult to identify and reciprocate if your partner’s love language is words of affirmation and yours is not. If communication isn’t easy for your partner, they will find it difficult to speak in this form of love. Many people argue that actions speak louder than words, but that’s not applicable in this case. It’s the comfort of being reassured that they really feel what they feel. You know, “if you love me, say it.”
Acts Of Service:
Actions speak louder than words when your love language is acts of service. If you find yourself begging your partner to help you with tasks, or you keep biting your tongue about how much your partner doesn’t do for you, you’re probably in a relationship with the wrong person. You need to be with someone who enjoys helping you with daily tasks and catering to your needs, and here’s the catch–because they want to.
Physical Touch:
It’s the kiss goodbye and the hugs that welcome you home that mean a lot to you when your love language is physical touch. It’s the caress of your back as they pass behind you to walk into the kitchen. It’s how they communicate how much they love you with a simple touch. If you’re with someone who isn’t okay with public display of affection, who doesn’t like holding hands, or gets “too hot” to cuddle… chances are you’re in a relationship with the wrong person.
Knowing and understanding the five love languages will completely transform how you give and receive love. Life is far too short for fake love, bad sex, and wasted time, so if you’ve found that your partner isn’t speaking your love language, address it. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t give your current partner a fair chance to love you properly, but if they can’t find out how to, move on. You deserve the real thing, and it’s out there waiting for you!
Love always, Isis.
