One thing about me? I will get up and walk away from whoever or whatever I feel I need to—any and every time. 

To be honest, I’ve always been this way. I’ll admit that I didn’t always do it properly at first, but I always knew that it was my choice to be able to walk away from anything I felt wasn’t good for me or good to me. It could be distancing myself from a friend or family member, quitting a job, breaking up with someone… it doesn’t matter. When I’m done, I’m done. The harsh part about it was in my earlier days it never really mattered to me how that made anyone else feel. I did come to learn that walking away from things didn’t mean I had to hurt anyone in the process, but it also showed me that I didn’t have to explain myself either—unless I truly wanted to.

The more I made decisions like these, the more I’d have friends asking, “How do you just cut people off like that?” “What are you going to do now that you quit your job?” “You’re not going to miss talking to him?” and the truth was “it’s easy.” “Idk.” and “HELLLLL YEAH, but he gotta go.” In other words, I didn’t always have things figured out. I didn’t always know what would be next after I decided to walk away… but I definitely knew that it was something I had to do. The more I had friends question how I was able to walk away so easily, the more I understood that there are so many people who don’t know that they have the exact same option in life.

Sounds crazy, does it?

Well, let me break it down. Here’s how to walk away from anything you don’t need in your life.

1. Acknowledge whatever has put you in the position to need to walk away.

Take a moment to think about what is actually going on. What led you to the point of needing to walk away? Is this something that has been reoccurring or a one-time event? Will walking away put you in binding circumstances later? Are you the problem? I mean, you’ll have to dig deep if you’re wanting to make such a big decision. You need to be able to ask yourself the hard questions and you’ll need to be able to accept the answers. Also, don’t think that the reason has to be a negative one. It doesn’t always have to be a ‘shit-hit-the-fan’ result. It could simply be that you want something else. You desire something new. You are bored. You are unhappy. You want to try a new career path. The options are endless, just be clear on why you’re making the decision to walk away from whatever it is.

2.  Make sure you’re not acting out of emotion before you walk away.

It’s important to know what influenced your decision to walk away so that you can know whether or not your making an irrational or emotion-led decision. You don’t want to walk away from anything when your emotions are heightened because you’re probably not thinking as clearly as you should be. You’re frustrated, flustered, and overall distracted. With that, it’s highly probable that you’ll make a decision you’ll regret later on down the line.

3.  Contemplate the consequences that will follow after you walk away.

You have got to think about what life will look like after you walk away from whatever you’re choosing to remove yourself from. These types of decisions are bound to cause a major change or two in your life. When an immediate and permanent removal has been decided on, you’ll need to know how that will affect you so that you can put plans in place to keep yourself moving forward. You don’t want to cut anything or anyone off and then find yourself in a stagnant place. You don’t deserve that. You definitely don’t want to cut anything or anyone off that you end up having to run back to either. Make sure you are prepared to plan to keep it moving, my love.

4.  Stick to your guns.

This part is usually challenging. It’s easy to feel like you made a mistake if your circumstances don’t immediately start looking up. You might start to regret your decision or feel like you made the wrong choice. Don’t give in and don’t give up. If you’ve done the previously mentioned and still decided to walk away, chances are it was both necessary and for the better. This is even applicable to someone who might be considering walking away from a bad habit or addiction. Be diligent, remain focused, and persevere when you feel challenged about your decision—and trust me, you will feel challenged by it. Do whatever you have to do to refrain from going back. You have to be firm with yourself. Discipline yourself. Surround yourself with things that will fruitfully replace whatever you had to walk away from and enjoy the benefits that have come with your decision to eliminate what wasn’t meant for you.

5.  Understand that you don’t have to explain or apologize for choosing to walk away.

There may be a few people out there who don’t agree with this and that’s just fine. The way I see it, we are all adults trying to navigate this crazy thing called life. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t revolve around any one person. The only person you need to clarify things for when you’ve chosen to walk away from something you don’t need in your life is you. No, I’m not saying to break hearts and shatter dreams. You can be graceful and still stand by your decision without disclosing all the details of why you made it. You don’t have to give an excuse or reason other than assuring them that you’ve thought it through long and hard and this is the choice you’ve made. They can take it or leave it.

6. Walk away with integrity.

Bow out gracefully! If you know you’re making the right decision for yourself, remove yourself peacefully and happily. Don’t belittle anything or anyone. That only makes you look foolish for being involved in the first place, so no need to take it there. Be sure, be strong, and be confident when you walk away. Walk away with your dignity intact and your head held high. It is never a bad thing to choose what’s best for you over what’s hurting you. If you’re walking away from a job, they may try to make you feel like you’re “letting the team down.” If you’re walking away from someone, they may try to convince you that “you’re giving up on love—or giving up on them.” You’re not giving up on anything but feeling like you have to come last on your list of “people to make happy.” Choose you this time.

7.  Realize that walking away from one thing doesn’t mean you can’t walk towards something else.

If you don’t already know, I am the queen—Goddess, rather—of starting over and/or changing directions. Always remember that just because you choose to walk away from something that is no longer serving you does not, for any reason, hold that you can’t walk towards something else. All hope is not lost. There are more jobs, more men (or women, fellas), and so much more to see and do out there in the world. Don’t hold yourself back. Moving on isn’t always an easy jumpstart so take the time you need to recover from whatever might follow after making these new arrangements in your life. However, once you’ve got a handle on everything, take the world by storm! Apply to the job you always wanted. Shoot your shot at a love interest. Get a makeover. There’s no right or wrong way, but you do want to make sure that you bring the process full circle by continuing to travel along the journey.

Here’s to leaving the bullshit behind us. Let’s do this, 2023.

Love always, Isis.