Raise your hand if you want to hit the ‘redo’ button on life. Yeah, me too.
The thing is, we really can do just that. I mean theoretically, of course, but it’s possible. No, we can’t get back any of the time that has passed and we can’t change anything we’ve done in the past. Ultimately, we can’t just erase anything we’ve previously experienced, said, or done no matter how bad we want to. That’s true—but we can make peace with it, move past it, and here’s the kicker—we CAN leave it behind us.
See, I’m the kind of person who believes in reinvention of self. This is really like my 15th life. Okay, I’m exaggerating. But I have no problem recreating my vision for myself or my life, whenever necessary. Sometimes, life simply needs to be redirected. Some people have their “shift” in January for the new year, while some people have it towards the middle of the year (that’s generally when I start evaluating what changes I need to make). Then there are those who wake up one day and say, “New life, who dis?” The point is, we all have that option and if you feel like you need a reset… you probably do.
Here’s my advice on reinventing yourself.
1. You don’t have to have a reason for wanting to reinvent yourself.
Before we get into anything else about self-reinvention, the first thing I want you to know and accept is this… If you feel like you need or want to reinvent yourself, you don’t need a reason why or permission to do so! Just do it! Now, this doesn’t look the same for everyone. Some people have to experience something negative or life-altering to want to see a change or reinvent themselves. This could be exiting a toxic relationship or workplace, for example. Others might see the vision elsewhere before trying to achieve it for themselves, which I feel many people use social media for. You see this influencer or even someone you know distantly and think to yourself, “I want to be more like this person.” I don’t see an issue with either; let me be clear. Some people need to be inspired in order to reflect change and that’s 100% okay. Me, personally, I’m one of those people who just goes with the feeling I get. It hits me like a truck at times, like, “Boom… it’s time to regroup and reset the balance of things.” And I just go with it—but that’s just my nature. Regardless of where you fit into wanting to reinvent yourself, know that you can do it whenever and however YOU want to do it.
2. You can’t reinvent yourself for other people, you’ve got to do it for yourself.
I want to be clear on this. I’ve made this mistake multiple times and that’s what made the commitment and consistency piece that we’ll get to later, so difficult. No matter how much you want to reinvent yourself, if you’re reinventing yourself for someone else, it won’t feel natural. Therefore, it’s going to be twice as hard to really make those changes without it feeling heavy, forced, or fake. Always remember, these are just my personal opinions, but in my experience, any reinvention I’ve attempted that began on the foundation of me doing it for someone else ultimately failed. When you reinvent yourself, do it to make yourself happy. Change the things you want to change. Be the person you want to be. Make the choices you want to make. It’s all about you. You are the key.
3. Reinventing yourself can bring about loneliness.
Reinvention of self can be a lonely road. A lot of things and people in your life may need to be removed in order for you to access your “new you.” Piggybacking off the previous point, you have to be a bit selfish when it comes to reinventing yourself. This decision means choosing yourself and putting your needs and desires before others. This can be really difficult for some people because the minute someone important to you says, “you’ve changed,” someone who is not as strong-willed will begin to reverse those changes and doubt their reasons for reinventing themselves in the first place. With self-reinvention, you will end up sacrificing some of the people in your life and it can feel really lonely. Always remember that you’re making space for new relationships in your life. Don’t be discouraged. The right ‘new’ people will come along and your ‘real’ people won’t leave your side when you begin to transition this time or the next.
4. You can’t reinvent yourself without being committed and consistent.
If you’re going to make the choice to reinvent yourself, you’re going to have to mean what you say and say what you mean. If you want to reinvent yourself you have to take the time to map it out. You won’t be able to control everything, but you can prepare yourself for anything! Once you’ve identified the changes you want to make you have to focus yourself to really stick to those changes and you have to practice them consistently. You will not succeed if you do not commit. There’s no way around that. You know the saying, “it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.” If you feel yourself straying away from your focus and your goals, regroup. Seek support, but return to the work.
5. If your vision for reinventing yourself doesn’t work out, try again!
Like I said when we started, I reinvent, “rebrand”, regroup—whatever you wanna call it—as often I feel I need to. Most times I don’t even tell anybody about it, I just do what I feel is going to be best for me. Sometimes I change my number I have yet to regret it. If you need help getting started or venting enough to let things go, I’m here. Here’s to the new you.
Love always, Isis.